I think I’m a lot like you. At 38 years of age, I was diagnosed with “unexplained infertility”. To say this was a major life crisis would be an understatement and it forever changed the course of my life. Up until this point, I was very happy and enjoying life. I had spent years living in London and Tokyo, traveling the world. I had a wonderful secure relationship, a great career, and was financially stable. After years of fun and adventure, I was finally ready to start a family and bring a beautiful baby into the world. I was ready to take on the enormous responsibility of having a child which I was not ready for in my 20’s and early 30’s. At first, I wasn’t too concerned about it and took the “relax and it will happen” approach believing that it would happen in its own time. After over a year of not using contraception and a visit to a GP about something unrelated she recommended I get my fertility tested and a week later I found myself sitting in an IVF clinic. It was a shock to be having a consultation with an IVF doctor about my fertility and discussing the process and procedures because IVF was not something I had even considered. I had hoped and dreamed of falling pregnant naturally.
Infertility is such a complex issue and affects everybody differently but for me, it really hit me in deep layers that took years for me to unravel. Anguish and frustration were emotions that sadly became a constant part of my life for the first time. Health is my number one value in life (without it you don’t have anything else) and I couldn’t accept that there was no explanation for my inability to conceive apart from my age. I just felt that this was an excuse given to all women over 35 who can’t conceive so I couldn’t accept this. I refused to lump myself into the category of terrible, scary statistics that you are quoted when talking about your odds of conceiving coming close to 40 years of age. I took really good care of my health and my passion was and still is, nutrition and the healing value of what we consume (food as medicine) and alternative methods of healing so I knew that there had to be another way. Rather than accept the doctor’s advice and go straight into IVF, I decided that I would figure out how I could conceive myself, naturally. If the best of conventional medicine couldn’t help, I would have to figure it out myself looking at alternative medicine. I felt like IVF was just an expensive band-aid approach that didn’t actually address the root cause of my infertility. I became a force of nature, determined to try everything until I found the answers, and had that baby. I voraciously read many books on the subject and looked at the latest research and I learned a lot through trial and error. And boy did I try everything!
I initially focused on my physical health, thinking that maybe there was some kind of deficiency preventing me from conceiving so I did a lot of research and decided to embark on a number of supplements, herbs, and foods that are optimal for fertility. I threw myself into different eating and lifestyle methodologies such as The Weston Price Foundation and Traditional Chinese Medicine. I drank fertility teas, did fertility massages, hypnotherapy, chiropractor, acupuncture, energy healing such as Qi Gong and the list goes on. I even saw a spiritual healer in a remote village in Bali who poked my toes with sticks (but that is a whole other story)! Eventually, I gave in to the fear and did IVF ( 2x IUIs and 1 x round of IVF) but it was unsuccessful.
I decided that while I was working on the physical side of things, I would approach the mental aspect as well. I’ve always been fascinated with the mind/body connection so I wondered if there were some mental blocks holding me back. Maybe my body didn’t know it was “safe” to conceive from some childhood and later life experiences I’d had. After all, there were many years where I thought that falling pregnant would be the worst thing that could happen to me and I was terrified of it! After a few years of silently struggling I finally admitted to myself that I needed someone to talk to about how I was feeling and unburden myself of the mental load, I was carrying. The pressure that I was putting on myself to conceive and the pressure from society was becoming too much to bear. The constant cycle of hope and despair month after month. I was lost and grieving (although I didn’t know that’s what it was at the time) Although I had a lot of supportive people in my life, none of them had been through infertility. At the time there was no such thing as a Fertility Coach but I managed to find someone in the U.S who provided the support that I needed. It was the first time in my life I reached out for this type of help so it took some courage. I was able to make sense of my emotions and why I was experiencing infertility from a spiritual point of view and it made such a difference to my life. With the mental support, I felt much more myself, I had more joy and clarity of thought and I was genuinely in a place where I was happy to live my life so when the baby came it would be the icing on top of the already delicious cake.
6 months later I fell pregnant with my son after 3 years of trying to conceive and gave birth to him a month before my 41st birthday. He was conceived and birthed naturally and is a beautiful healthy child. I was seeing a Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner at the time and so I attributed this to my success. When the time came to try for baby number 2 I went back to her for treatment for 8 months. Unfortunately, that was not the solution that I thought it was so I was thrown back into despair and taken right back to square one which was really painful particularly because I genuinely thought infertility was something in my past which I had conquered. This time I took on a different approach which made all the difference. I had come across Anthony William, the Medical Medium, and bought his first book. His way of explaining the way that the body worked and how to heal it deeply resonated with me on an intuitive level and also on an intellectual one as the quality of his knowledge information and insights is astonishing. So I decided to completely change my mindset yet again and take on his information and insights. After 4 months, I fell pregnant with my daughter and gave birth naturally at 43 years of age.
The current medicalised approach of dealing with infertility is lacking as it doesn’t address the cause of infertility and it ignores the emotional health of the individual. Despite the fact that there is a clear correlation between the negative impact of stress on fertility. Having a good understanding of overcoming infertility on a physical level, I needed to learn a method that would practically help women through the emotional overwhelm, grief, and stress of infertility so I learned the Freedom Fertility Formula. It provides emotional transformation on a conscious and subconscious level with the goal to help women reclaim the joy in life and enhance fertility success.
My own experience and the desire to help women in the same situation is what has propelled me to become a Fertility Coach and Freedom Fertility Formula Specialist and to live my soul’s purpose and my heart’s passion. It is the remembering of the grief (which despite having 2 children, I can come back to instantly) which drives me to reach out to other women and help them achieve their dream of getting pregnant and starting a family. I have a strong desire to share critical information that all women need to know about their health and their fertility that we haven’t been told and that may be holding us back.
I want you to know that you can trust your body and heal despite your age, even from something “unexplained”. There are reasons why you are having problems conceiving and none of them are your fault. That you can recover emotionally and get your life back while you are trying to conceive. That IVF is not the only option available to you. That you can conceive naturally despite being over 35 years old. I am passionate about empowering and supporting women through this devastating experience and helping you learn how to nourish your reproductive system, change your mindset, and fulfil your dreams of having a beautiful healthy baby.